Recording For May 18, 2017

(week 281) 18 May 2017 12-step Study Big Book All Addictions workshop

We have created a brand new website. You can now listen to the recordings and visit the new website at http://www.12StepStudyWorkshop.weebly.com and click on the “Recordings” tab.

Big Book Chapter 6 entitled: Into Action
Page 87:2 & start of paragraph 3.

“If circumstances warrant, we ask our wives or friends to join us in morning meditation. If we belong to a religious denomination which requires a definite morning devotion, we attend to that also. If not members of religious bodies, we sometimes select and memorize a few set prayers which emphasize the principles we have been discussing. There are many helpful books also. Suggestions about these may be obtained from one’s priest, minister, or rabbi. be quick to see where religious people are right. Make use of what they offer.

As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action. We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day “Thy will be done.” ”

Soul work

Q1 Quiet Time.
Where are you with this today?
Are you doing your morning or night meditation?
Have you invited your wife/husband/friend to join you?
d) Do you have a format that you take into your Quiet Time?
e) Have you memorised prayers you can use when you are in a 911 situation?
f) Do you have a daily reading book e.g. As Bill Sees It, that you bring into meditation? Or do you have lots of books and read several of them?

Q2a). Write about the last time you paused before you said something.
b) What’s the value of going through the day having pauses?

Q5. Write ‘prayer’ at start of paragraph 3 next to the words: “We ask for the right thought or action.” Do you see how this is step 12?

Q6a) Do you like gratitude and see its value or think its overstated in our programme?
b) Are you grateful? Are there degrees of gratitude?
d) Can you see the value and be grateful if someone is honest with you even if it is not complimentary? Or do you still think: “How dare they?”

Recording For May 11, 2017

(week 280) 11 May 2017 12-step study Big Book all addictions workshop

We have created a brand new website. You can now listen to the recordings and visit the new website at http://www.12StepStudyWorkshop.weebly.com and click on the “Recordings” tab.

At the end of Quiet Time ask God:
What’s my plan of action?
God help me to complete it.
Have accountability around it.

Big Book is saying do this all day. To be given the power, the willingness to do it.

“We ask especially freedom from self-will.” This is so important.

You have done all the hard work, now can ratchet it up, to bring you to the fourth dimension and
a life that is awesome. As an addict we are either going forwards or going backwards. Recovery
affects all areas of our life: job, relationships, health, etc.

Don’t ever say to another person:
“10 ,11 and 12 are maintenance steps.” If you are maintaining you are going back. These are growth steps that require action. Do you want to maintain where you are at or do you want to
grow and become the best possible recovered version of yourself?

Soul work

Chapter entitled: Into Action
Page 87:1

“We usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be , that we be given whatever we need to take care of such problems. We ask especially for freedom from self-will, and are careful to make no request for ourselves only. We may ask for ourselves, however, if others will be helped. We are careful never to pray for our own selfish ends. Many of us he wasted a lot of time doing that and it doesn’t work. You can easily see why.”

Q1. FEAR acronym: Face Everything And Recover
Where are you with that today and generally?

When you are angry look below it. You are afraid of something.
Fear will paralyze us even in recovery. That’s why we need step 11.

Q2. What do you fear right now? Bring these fears to Quiet Time.

Q3a) Look up: complacency. (Stephanie is trying to help us out of complacency).
b) List the areas where you are complacent.
c) Do any of these match your fears and if so how?
This is going to require wisdom so take it to God.

[e.g. God I am complacent in my financial area. What I am afraid of? Well I am 67 years old and its only three years before I retire and am not making it financially. I am not going to get a new job because I’m afraid.]

Q4a) What do you love to do?
b) Are you afraid of doing what you love?

Q5. Where are you going in the present and the future? It is going to be humdrum or exciting?

Q6. “Your will God not mine be done”.
a) What does this mean to you?
How do you sum up page 87:1?

Every program person is going to interpret this differently. Own this paragraph. Own the acronym FEAR. Own the word complacency so instead of a complacent recovery you have a dynamic one that you are excited about. A dynamic recovery means a dynamic life. You cannot separate the two.

ENDS

Recording For May 4, 2017

Big Book All Addictions Step Study~May 5, 2017 Week 279 Page 84-86

We have created a brand new website. You can now listen to the recordings and visit the new website at http://www.12StepStudyWorkshop.weebly.com and click on the “Recordings” tab.

Look up:
Non-negotiable
Intuitive

Step 11 Nightly/morning/daily review. Catch wrong thinking before it spirals into something you don’t want it to.

AA Page 86 (Map for living a joyous and free sobriety. Honest self-appraisal.)

“On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use. Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives.

In thinking about our day we may face indecision. We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. We relax and take it easy. We don’t struggle. We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while. What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind. Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God, it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times. We might pay for this presumption in all sorts of absurd actions and ideas. Nevertheless, we find that our thinking will, as time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration. We come to rely upon it.”

You’re going to face indecision especially if you’re thinking is not divorced from self-pity, dishonest self-seeking motives. Should I do the God honoring behavior or live as “it’s easy and slide through”. Let’s say you make a decision for non-God-honoring behavior. Do you beat yourself up? Go out and get drunk, eat etc.? No, you can start your day anytime. Do a 10th step, ask God for help, make a new action plan, become very decisive that “I am going to turn this around and be God honoring”. That’s what you do.

You’re going to face indecision all day long however if you have “non-negotiable actions” you cut down the indecisions by a huge percentage.

Question 1: What are your “Non-negotiable actions”? ex: Stephanie’s are: Quiet time, planning and preparing my food for the day (writing it down, preparing it), exercise, getting enough sleep, church, and to do group/family commitments.

This is how the rubber meets the road — How you spend your time? There is a expression in either debtor or clutters anonymous—Time Drunk– where you waste time and you don’t even know it.

Question 2: What is your definition of “Time Drunk”.

It’s important that you don’t live in indecision or you waste time and you only get so much.

AA Page 86: “We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision”

Indecision is dangerous because it can cause you to get back into your addiction. That’s why you have non-negotiable actions. Pray, plan, prepare, protect your well-being by not being in indecision. Know what you need to do, what course to take to take care of yourself. It’s important not to steam roller over others though. Just tell them what you need and let them make a decision on what they need or want to do. It’s difficult to not push, pull, prod, or dominate when someone else is in indecision. So continue to pray, plan, prepare, protect to keep sober.

How do you determine what to do when you have a decision? A decision where you don’t know the answer? You ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. We relax and take it easy—meditate. Pray. If you get into stress and anxiety you will not be able to make clear and recovered thinking. Trust God.

Once you make a decision, run it by a trusted sponsor or program person. And make sure you run it by because we can think God is telling us something yet it could be absolute insanity.

Page 87 We don’t struggle. We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while. What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind. Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God, it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times.

You’re not going to be inspired at all times. When you know you don’t have the answer, you relax, take it easy, and say to the person who may be pressuring you for an answer: “I don’t have an answer yet, I don’t know. If you need an answer right now then it’s no.” If they can wait for me to feel good about my yes to be yes and my no to be no then I will keep on asking God. Stephanie refuses to be pressures.

Don’t ask 15 people what to do because you’re going to get 15 opinions. How is someone else’s opinion going to help you? Opinions are not from God. Ask God for help in quiet time, make an action plan, and then accountability. Inch by inch you can do it.

Question 3: What are the 11th Step promises?

Recording for April 27, 2017

We have created a brand new website. You can now listen to the recordings and visit the new website at http://www.12StepStudyWorkshop.weebly.com and click on the “Recordings” tab.

Week 278 April 27, 2017
When you’re on your death bed, you’re not going to wish for more money or possessions. You’re going to be thinking about relationships. For Stephanie, the order of relationships is God first, her husband second, and her relationships third. She puts a lot of time and effort in being with people. Her church family, her recovered family, her family, her husband’s family. People, people, people. A recovered person cares about others as much as yourself.

Step 11: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.”
It takes Step 1, 2, & 3. I can’t, God can and I’m going to let him. It has to be iron clad. Referenced “The Hawk” and Mark Houston workshops. They said when someone slips, it’s always a question of step 1. Step 1 has not been iron clad. Slipee has allowed wiggle room. “I’m not really powerless, I can handle it”. When you have trouble with any step, you go back to the one before it. EX: I don’t want to do step 11, then they would say you go back to step 10 and question and say “Do I really believe I have to take personal inventory?” Then you go back to 8&9, 6&7. There is a character defect that you’re not willing to face. You question yourself (with your sponsor) and you end up with step 1. You’ve given yourself a loophole. You’re not powerless and so you don’t have to have a God and you haven’t made that decision. There is something in your inventory that you don’t want to face.
The greatest gift to your recovery is to admit where you’re having trouble. Everything depends on your willingness to do 6&7. You can’t make good amends without total willingness to look at your mistakes. You make your amends and you live daily walking around looking at yourself. Being aware of your attitude. Am I kind, loving, do I have the joy of recovery? Am I a person that others see as positive. While maintaining boundaries. It’s not about me, it’s about God. Being an instrument for God.
Live in 10, 11, 12 daily
Step 11, you are serious gaze and gage about how you were doing the day. And if we’re not happy with how we lived our day, answer these questions and realize you need to improve yourself. But can you improve yourself? No, you need God. Step 11, you go to God and say, I was not the best version of myself today. I was cranky, procrastinated, etc. Just talk to God about where you weren’t the best version of yourself. Step 11 is Looking at yourself honestly like you do in 6&7 but knowing you have a partner. And that’s God.

EX: I wasn’t abstinent today, talk to God and ask God for help. Then put the bat away.

Paragraph 86.2
On awakening let us think about the 24 hours ahead…..

We plan our day. Pray, Plan, prepare, protect. Quiet time, plan, think about the 24 hours ahead, prepare the day and protect. How to do protect? Has to be certain things that are Iron clad. Ex quiet time, exercise, food prep, etc. Nothing that gets in the way of doing these things. Could be work at 7:30 etc.
Question 1) Write it down What they mean to you. Pray, plan, prepare, protect
Question 2) For the next week. Do it every day. Plotting it in Pray, plan, prepare, protect
Question 3) Bring it to God, yourself and to another human being.

You don’t have to live a stressed life because you have the plan in front of you. But you do need to defend your plan. You need to pray to God for boundaries.

Put intellect over feelings. Wrong motives is people pleasing. What’s the bottom line of people pleasing? Fear

Recording For April 20, 2017

Week 277

Big Book All Addictions Step Study~April 20 2017
http://thursday-steps-1-12.12stepstudyworkshop.com/

Questions for Week #277
Big Book, page 86
We live in 10, 11 & 12. All day long. It flows like a day. Like one continuous day (ex: you can skip the afternoon etc.) Continue to take personal inventory and when you’re wrong, promptly admit. And you might not know you’re wrong until 3 days later. Don’t separate them. They are very fluid, like a day.

Step 10 is the walking around step. Trying to be as conscious as you possibly can about how you’re reacting and interfacing with other people. Walking through your day: is it kind? is loving? Is it considerate? Are you living recovered?

Step 11 is prayer and meditation. All day long. God help me accept this….. Mediation is not necessarily sitting in a quiet place. Stephanie meditated on making pies, or on lifting weights. And if you have a conscious contact with God, then every action you do is a form of mediation and action.
We’re living in 10, 11 and 12 and when we’re not our conscious lets us know, we’re inventory, admit it, make amends.

Being recovered (living in 10, 11 & 12) is God conscious all of the time. That’s our goal. “Having had a spiritual experience” you don’t forget it or who gave it to you. And when you’re not living loving, forgiving, patient etc, you’re not living in God consciousness. So inventory yourself, go to God in quiet time, do action plan (maybe to change your thinking) and work it in all your affairs.

Look up: “divorced”, “self pity”, “dishonest”, “self seeking”, “motives”

1) Write in your own words how is Steps 10, 11, 12 one fluid Step?
2) What does “pray, plan, prepare and protect” mean in relation to Steps 10, 11, 12?
3) Do you make plans (rough plans ok) for your day? You can relate ‘action plan’ to this. How can you live a ‘recovered life’ in your day.
4) What does “consider your plans for the day” mean to you, after hearing what Stephanie related what it means for her?

Recording For April 13, 2017

http://thursday-steps-1-12.12stepstudyworkshop.com/

Look up

Worry
Remorse
Morbid refection
inquire
corrective

Step 11 Nightly review

Page 86 Review of day. You can do this any time of the day. As long as you keep your finger on your pulse of day and while you walk through your day, you do the 10th step. Continue to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admit it. That’s the living in your day. The 11th is a time set aside where you review your day and you thank God for the good things and ask God to help you change the things that didn’t go well and accept the rest. Like the Serenity Prayer.

Last week we covered:

First thing we do we CONSTRUCTIVELY review our day which means we write all the positive things, a minimum of 3-5 things you did right. Ex: I weighted and measure my food, day. I connected with someone I hadn’t talked to for a while, I got to work on time, I had a really good conversation with husband, sponsor; was compassionate and loving with my child. Really ask God to talk with you about what I did right during the day. That’s what a recovered life is. You can see your life in a balanced manner. You didn’t do everything right but did you certainly didn’t do everything wrong either.

Were we resentful?

Were we selfish?

Were we dishonest?

Were we afraid?

Do we owe an apology?

Have we kept something to ourselves which should been discussed with another person at once?

Were we kind? (courteous, polite–You can be kind because you’re a people pleaser.)

and loving? (You can be kind and not loving)

What could we have done better to be more God honoring? (ex: I could have done better by asking God to change my heart about my boss. I could ask God to give my boss the things I want. Or, I could have been more patient with child, in traffic etc.) Remember we’re clean because of the grace of God. What are we giving back to God?

Were we thinking mostly of ourselves?

Or were we thinking of what we could do for others?

What we could pack into the stream of life? Did you do too much or did you rest on your laurels and not do enough? Did you contribute to the stream of life?

But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid refection? Do you tend to get into those?

Morbid reflection is doing this without God. “Oh I’m so terrible” Is a reverse form of pride. Selfishness and self-centeredness.
Worry is like sitting in a rocking chair expecting to go somewhere.
Remorse is wasting energy. If you have remorse, made an amends to God, the other person and to yourself. Then you can let go of all remorse. If you can’t do it to the other person, you do it with God, write a letter to the other person.

The disease wants you in morbid reflection, worry and remorse. So miserable that you’ll numb yourself with food, alcohol, drugs etc.

But that would diminish our usefulness to others. You’re in to self. “Naval gazing” — Oh I’m so terrible. It’s limiting God.

If you’re in morbid reflection, go to God, write about it, what you can do to make amends, write an action plan, share it. Sometimes we forget how big God is. Morbid reflection will steal your joy, peace and will probably bring you back to your addiction.

Your purpose in 12 step program to be useful to others. We don’t get sober to get a great job, man, look good etc. We get sober to lead other people to the path of hope that there is a way to recover. It will really show you what our purpose on earth is. It is to be useful to God, others and yourselves. It’s not to look at your own needs.

After doing the review, we ask for God’s forgiveness, if we need to, and inquire what corrective measures should be taken. Ex: amends

Recording For April 6, 2017

Page 86 Paragraph 1

When we retire at night, we constructively review our day. Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid? Do we owe an apology? Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once? Were we kind and loving toward all? What could we have done better? Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time? Or were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life? But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others. After making our review we ask God’s forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken.

Do we have to do it at night? Bill wrote in the morning. Only matters that you review yourself.

God, is there anything else you want me to know?

Review is like taking two fingers to check your pulse. It’s checking how you’re doing in recovery.

Review is not to beat yourself up or puff yourself up.

Do the following every day, for homework read one day to your buddy.

Have you hurt/harmed someone. Because if you have it will come up. Either your conscience or people will say or so something or cut you out of their lives.

Start by writing 3 at least 3 things you did right that day. Simple as “I get up on time” or “I exercised” or “made my husband fish for dinner”.

Recovery is seeing the positive in everything. Including myself. A recovered person is seeing the glass half full. Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake so everything can be positive if I just have the right attitude and bring it to God. Train yourself to see the positive in your day. Everything can be positive if I bring it to God.

Was I resentful? (Yes, turn paper over and do a resentment on it.
I am resentful at: my Mother.
Cause: She criticized me on my housework.
Effects my: self-esteem, personal relationships, personal security, pride, sexual relations, pocketbook.

Turnaround

a) Where was I selfish?
b) What did I want from this person
c) Why did I want it?

Where was I self-seeking? What behavior did I do to get what I wanted from that person? (ex: I wanted her to apologize)

Where was I dishonest?
Did I directly lie? Was I honest with x (ex: “yeah I know I have a long way to go in housework”, lie because the house was neat)
What was lie of omission? What should I have said to X to be completely honest? And say it in a nice way. (Well gee Mom, you’re being awfully critical.
What was the lie I tell myself? (ex: “ell if Mom thinks I am a bad housekeeper then I guess I really am”. That’s a lie, I am a good housekeeper, just not to her standards)

What am I afraid of? (I am afraid of her disapproval, I’m afraid that she’ll tell my sister, I’m afraid she’ll never want to come to my house again.) If there is a fear that you know you need to do fear inventory, then take it to a fear inventory.

If you have a resentment, you know what to do. You don’t have to take it to bed with you.

Where you selfish? You can be selfish and not be resentful.

Was I honest?
Clerk didn’t charge you
Are you being honest with people in your life? (Are you telling people it’s ok when it’s not ok. Are you dishonest with yourself? Are you eating food you know your body doesn’t need? Are you staying up later than you know your body can handle? Are you driving faster than the speed limit.) These things are not to condemn you, once you’ve gotten to the 11th step, it’s the small stuff that we need to look.

Was I afraid? And it fear is coming up, then do a fear inventory.

Do I owe an apology? Won’t know unless I ask the questions of “Was I resentful, self-seeking, fearful. Take it to God, take it to quiet time, make an action plan. Do I need to make an apology to someone.

Have I kept something to myself which should be discussed with someone at once? God, Sponsor, somebody who knows me through and through and can tell if I’m in denial, rationalizing etc. (do I need to talk to a loved one, doctor, etc.)

Recording for March 30, 2017

Week 274 March 30, 2017

Today’s reading:
BB top p.86 “It works… THROUGH end of top paragraph…”It would be easy to be vague about this matter. Yet, we believe we can make some definite and valuable suggestions.”

Q(1) Write out what Stephanie explained at the workshop’s beginning about the content of the Steps and then own it by writing it and defining it in your own words.

Q(2) “It works…” – What works?

Q(3) “…if we have the proper attitude and work at it.” (BB p. 86, top line, first full sentence)
(a) What’s the proper attitude?
(b) Do you feel 1-you don’t have time for ‘it’ or 2-you can’t live without it?

Q(4)(a) What does prayer mean to you?
What do you pray? (b) Do you like the prayers you pray?

Q(5)(a) What does meditation mean to you? Do you like it? (b)Do you like the way you do it? (c)Do you want to explore meditation?

Q(6) See how one week changes your attitude towards prayer and meditation.

Stephanie’s suggestion:
Don’t be vague.

Recording for March 23, 2017

Week 273, March 23, 2017
Step Eleven continued.

Today’s reading:
Big Book p. 85 begin para 3 – p. 86 end of first full sentence.
“Step Eleven suggests prayer and meditation. … Better men than we are using it constantly. It works, if we have the proper attitude and work at it.”

Q What does it mean to be “in fit spiritual condition”?
A These are suggestions (not original to Stephanie but from a workshop attended) given by Stephanie:

(1) Pray constantly.

Each moment try to have constant contact with God. How? Through conversation.
Conversation = PRAYER.
Prayer= talking to God. …TALKING

(2) Meditate daily = LISTENING, in Quiet Time.

(3) Read Twelve Step literature and spiritual literature Daily.

(They can be one and the same.)

(4) Give program away, most especially the Spiritual part.

(5) Talk daily to Twelve Step people and also an accountability person (the latter can be the same person you call your ‘sponsor’).

(6) Do service in your groups.

(7) Go to meetings and business meetings and share recovery, not the problem. Participate in a positive way.

Share about how God is the foundation of the Steps and be willing to be driven out of your Step One Fellowship because of speaking too much about God.

(8)Stay up to date with any resentments, fears, selfish motives, and dishonesty
( Step Ten).

(9) Be at peace with yourself and others by making amends when needed (Steps Eight and Nine).

(10) Stay rigorously honest

(100% honest about 100% of your life; no shaving the truth).
Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don’t say it mean.

(11) Surrender your will to God’s Will.

Look up: constantly

Q(1)(a) Write on each of the eleven suggestions above. What do they look like? (b) Do you want them? (c) Are they useful? (d)How are you doing them? Give examples.

Q(2)(a) Are you doing prayer and meditation constantly? (b)What does constantly mean to you – once a day/ twice a day/ when you get into trouble?

Q(3) “It works… .”
(a) What do you say ‘it’ means?
(b) Own the ‘it’ promise. Does it work for you?
(c) Has it worked for you in the past and not anymore? Or are you just new to working prayer and meditation?

Q(4) Put the word PROMISE above “It works”.
Are you willing to devote one-third of your day to prayer and meditation to get the promise that ‘it works’?

Q(5) Have the proper attitude of Gratitude.
(a) What about you – what does proper attitude mean to you?
(b) Do you have it?
(c) And if yes, are you doing the proper Action Plan around it and working at it?