(week 195) 24 September 2015 12-step Big Book All Addictions Workshop
Big Book.Chapter 6: Into Action page 75:2
One of the most important things Stephanie’s sponsor said to her is: never pull anyone out of denial.
If you try and pull someone out of denial:
They will leave you because they won’t trust you
They might go crazy. People have said:’ don’t you see you are x y z? You are a liar, adulterer, etc.’ And they could not handle it and have committed suicide, gone into mental institutions. They are not ready. In telling them you would be doing God’s work. They will go through extreme negativity either about themselves or about you. They will have to make you or themselves a bad person. They may go off the deep end and they will lose trust in you..
Be an encourager.
People quit Big Book and quit recovery because they get discouraged. Think about a young child, who will blossom if you tell them they are doing a good job. We are all young kids. I am 65. God will tell me what I need. I need others to encourage me. We need to work together and call each other. Encourage one another and be each others’ cheerleader.
These are your instructions for the fifth step:
to learn what the solution is
to do the work
Page 75:3 Returning home we find a place where we can be quiet for an hour, quietly reviewing what we have done.
Very important. Tell your family. Plan your day. Give yourself a minimum of an hour (Stephanie took three). Carefully reviewing what you have done. And allowing yourself the magnitude of the feelings. Don’t discount this.
75:2 We can look the world in the eye. We can be alone and at perfect peace and ease. Our fears from use. We begin to feel a nearness to our Creator.
1. We thank God from the bottom of our heart that we know Him better.
2. Taking this book down from our shelf we turn to the page (page 59) which contains the twelve steps. Carefully reading the first five proposals we ask if we have omitted anything, for we are building an arch through which we shall walk a free man at last.
We ask if we have omitted anything. [You are building your foundation for the rest of your life and the remaining steps. ] ‘…for we are building an arch through which you will walk a free man at last. Is our work solid so far? Are the stones properly in place? Have we skimped on the cement put into the foundation? Have we tried to make mortar without sand?
You might want to write out the Step Five promises on Page 75:2.
1. Write out your instructions on a piece of paper and put them with your Big Book.
2. If you have already done your fifth step and you have not yet written (or followed) these instructions, do this as soon as possible.
Page 76 If we can answer to our satisfaction, then we look at Step Six.
3. Over the weeks we are reading the AA 12 x 12 and Tradition Five go through your step four work and pick out the character defects. If you have already destroyed your step four then one option is to go to the website and find the list of character defects.
4. Use 3 x 5 cards and on the left side list a defect and the definition. Then write:
with God’s help and power I will live in …(and write the opposite characteristic and definition.
e.g. pride. Write the definition. The opposite of which is humility. Write a definition of humility.
Joining the two write: …with God’s help and power I will live in humility.
5. On the back of the card write an action plan.
For Stephanie pride is: “I know the answer myself and for others. I don’t.”
Her Action Plan for: ‘how can I be more humble?’:
1. Go to God
2 Admit that I need help
3. Listen more than I talk
4. Over and over again listen to God and to others.
5. God’s Action Plan will show me specifically how I can be more humble.
6. Don’t push, pull, prod or dominate. Always use the ‘I ‘statement and never assume to know the answer. Make suggestions that all the time only encourage.
“If I do those things I live in humility.”
If you are done with Step Five you need to be doing Steps Six and Seven.
(week 194) 17 September 2015 12-step All Addictions Big Book workshop
Big Book Chapter 6: Step Five Into Action
Underline the words in bold.
….Perhaps our doctor or psychologist will be the person. It may be one of our own family, but we cannot disclose anything to our wives or our parents which will hurt them and make them unhappy. We have no right to save our skin at another’s expense. Such parts of our story we tell to someone who will understand, yet be unaffected. The rule is we must be hard on ourselves, but always considerate of others.
We pocket our pride and go to it, illuminating every twist of character, every dark cranny of the past.
Look up: illuminating.
A definition of pride is that it is a disordered way that we see ourselves. Either we see ourselves as more important than God and others or we see ourselves as less important.
1) What does it mean ‘to pocket our pride’?
‘…Once we have taken this step, withholding nothing, we are delighted. We can look the world in the eye. We can be alone at perfect peace and ease. Our fears fall from us. We begin to feel the nearness of our Creator. We may have had certain spiritual beliefs, but now we begin to have a spiritual experience. The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly. We feel we are on the Broad Highway, walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe.’
2) Write on these fifth step promises.
If you have done your fifth step, have you got all or some of these promises?
[If you haven’t done your fifth step, this is what you can expect.]