(week 172) 16 April 2015 12 Step Study Big Book All Addictions workshop
Note: There is a new phone bridge number for the Thursday 8am EST workshop:
567 704 7161 pin no. 32450#
(If you have difficulty getting through keep trying).
AA Big Book page 67 last para:
Notice that the word “fear” is bracketed alongside the difficulties with Mr Brown, Mrs Jones, the employer, and the wife. This short word somehow touched about every aspect of our lives. It was an evil and corroding threat; the fabric of our existence was shot through with it. It set in motion trains of circumstances which brought us misfortune we felt we didn’t deserve. But did not, ourselves, set the balling rolling? Sometimes we think fear ought to be classed with stealing. It seems to cause more trouble.
Line 2: Write ‘fear’ above ‘This short word’
Line 3: Write ‘fear’ above the word ‘it’ It was an evil…
Line 4 Write ‘fear’ above the word ‘it’ It set in motion…
Write this down:
Face Everything And Recover (FEAR)
Question: Face Everything And Recover. How?
Answer: Very simple: with God and and an action plan.
Part of your soul work is to read page 67 every day so you own this like you have never owned anything before.
If somebody tells you they have no fear they are in denial. We all have fear. Being in denial about fear is the disease which says: “I can handle it.”
Recovery says: “I have fear and with God and with my community I am overcoming it.” Recovery is not freedom from fear. Recovery is being conscious of our fears. It is freedom from being ruled by the fear. We go to our addictions because fear rules us and we cannot handle it so we numb out on alcohol, food drugs, people, etc.
Not knowing you are afraid of something is worse than knowing you are afraid. If you don’t know you have something you cannot face it and recover. Recovery is facing reality.
Go back to page 65. Look at Mr Brown sex relations (fear)
Every resentment is because of fear of losing what you have or fear of not getting what you want. We did resentments first because they are more easily identified than fear. There is less denial. You have to keep in mind that fear likes to stay hidden. Our pride does not want us to think we are fearful people so it is much easier to be angry and resentful. Believe it or not it is more comfortable to be resentful and angry than fearful. It was perfect that in the Big Book they did resentments first and then fear.
Just writing down those fears is going to be very fearful. And it will be very empowering.
look up misfortune:
Above misfortune could write: crisis, trauma, rejection, misunderstandings.
Sue will send out a template.
On a sheet of paper write: Fear Inventory
Turn it over and write: ‘Fears’ then list and number them.
e.g. 1. Fear of losing my job. 2. Fear of my husband leaving me.
3. Fear of dogs 4.fear of spiders 5. fear of people. Write them all down.
Then on new sheet of paper take one fear and write Fear No. 1 on the top left-hand corner.
1. I am afraid of: My husband leaving me.
2. Why do I have this fear?
Write out your history: e.g. I don’t treat my husband in a loving way. I am afraid because I have had many men I loved deeply who left me.
3. How did self-reliance fail me?
Go back and look at how self-reliance failed you. Self-centred behaviour is another word for selfish.
e.g. I always tried to use sex to keep a man interested. I used sex. I used to try to buy the men to stay with me.
4. What should I have done instead?
I needed to trust and rely on God and have an action plan.
Do an action plan straight away. That will give you some relief. Go to God and ask: What do I do for an action plan so I can live in this moment without having to live in this fear? What should I have done instead?
5. Accountability. Have an accountability buddy for your Action Plan.
Remember you go to Quiet Time.
Half-measures availed us nothing. If you are not doing a Quiet Time and getting closer and closer to your Higher Power you are doing a half measure; because without your Higher Power you are not going to get an action plan that is going to work. The hopeless state of your mind is living in fear: I am afraid I don’t measure up. They are not going to like me. When you have a relationship with God you know you measure up. Going to Good Orderly Direction works. And listening and making an inch by inch action plan works.
God what do you want me to be? Not what do you want me to do. I am a human being not a human doing What type of person do you want me to be? And God will answer and then you do an action plan.You need to learn to be quiet. That is why it says in the Big Book:
We pause when agitated and we ask God: how should I be in this situation?