Recording For April 6, 2017

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When we retire at night, we constructively review our day. Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid? Do we owe an apology? Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once? Were we kind and loving toward all? What could we have done better? Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time? Or were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life? But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others. After making our review we ask God’s forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken.

Do we have to do it at night? Bill wrote in the morning. Only matters that you review yourself.

God, is there anything else you want me to know?

Review is like taking two fingers to check your pulse. It’s checking how you’re doing in recovery.

Review is not to beat yourself up or puff yourself up.

Do the following every day, for homework read one day to your buddy.

Have you hurt/harmed someone. Because if you have it will come up. Either your conscience or people will say or so something or cut you out of their lives.

Start by writing 3 at least 3 things you did right that day. Simple as “I get up on time” or “I exercised” or “made my husband fish for dinner”.

Recovery is seeing the positive in everything. Including myself. A recovered person is seeing the glass half full. Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake so everything can be positive if I just have the right attitude and bring it to God. Train yourself to see the positive in your day. Everything can be positive if I bring it to God.

Was I resentful? (Yes, turn paper over and do a resentment on it.
I am resentful at: my Mother.
Cause: She criticized me on my housework.
Effects my: self-esteem, personal relationships, personal security, pride, sexual relations, pocketbook.

Turnaround

a) Where was I selfish?
b) What did I want from this person
c) Why did I want it?

Where was I self-seeking? What behavior did I do to get what I wanted from that person? (ex: I wanted her to apologize)

Where was I dishonest?
Did I directly lie? Was I honest with x (ex: “yeah I know I have a long way to go in housework”, lie because the house was neat)
What was lie of omission? What should I have said to X to be completely honest? And say it in a nice way. (Well gee Mom, you’re being awfully critical.
What was the lie I tell myself? (ex: “ell if Mom thinks I am a bad housekeeper then I guess I really am”. That’s a lie, I am a good housekeeper, just not to her standards)

What am I afraid of? (I am afraid of her disapproval, I’m afraid that she’ll tell my sister, I’m afraid she’ll never want to come to my house again.) If there is a fear that you know you need to do fear inventory, then take it to a fear inventory.

If you have a resentment, you know what to do. You don’t have to take it to bed with you.

Where you selfish? You can be selfish and not be resentful.

Was I honest?
Clerk didn’t charge you
Are you being honest with people in your life? (Are you telling people it’s ok when it’s not ok. Are you dishonest with yourself? Are you eating food you know your body doesn’t need? Are you staying up later than you know your body can handle? Are you driving faster than the speed limit.) These things are not to condemn you, once you’ve gotten to the 11th step, it’s the small stuff that we need to look.

Was I afraid? And it fear is coming up, then do a fear inventory.

Do I owe an apology? Won’t know unless I ask the questions of “Was I resentful, self-seeking, fearful. Take it to God, take it to quiet time, make an action plan. Do I need to make an apology to someone.

Have I kept something to myself which should be discussed with someone at once? God, Sponsor, somebody who knows me through and through and can tell if I’m in denial, rationalizing etc. (do I need to talk to a loved one, doctor, etc.)