Recording For April 13, 2017

Look up

Morbid refection

Step 11 Nightly review

Page 86 Review of day. You can do this any time of the day. As long as you keep your finger on your pulse of day and while you walk through your day, you do the 10th step. Continue to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admit it. That’s the living in your day. The 11th is a time set aside where you review your day and you thank God for the good things and ask God to help you change the things that didn’t go well and accept the rest. Like the Serenity Prayer.

Last week we covered:

First thing we do we CONSTRUCTIVELY review our day which means we write all the positive things, a minimum of 3-5 things you did right. Ex: I weighted and measure my food, day. I connected with someone I hadn’t talked to for a while, I got to work on time, I had a really good conversation with husband, sponsor; was compassionate and loving with my child. Really ask God to talk with you about what I did right during the day. That’s what a recovered life is. You can see your life in a balanced manner. You didn’t do everything right but did you certainly didn’t do everything wrong either.

Were we resentful?

Were we selfish?

Were we dishonest?

Were we afraid?

Do we owe an apology?

Have we kept something to ourselves which should been discussed with another person at once?

Were we kind? (courteous, polite–You can be kind because you’re a people pleaser.)

and loving? (You can be kind and not loving)

What could we have done better to be more God honoring? (ex: I could have done better by asking God to change my heart about my boss. I could ask God to give my boss the things I want. Or, I could have been more patient with child, in traffic etc.) Remember we’re clean because of the grace of God. What are we giving back to God?

Were we thinking mostly of ourselves?

Or were we thinking of what we could do for others?

What we could pack into the stream of life? Did you do too much or did you rest on your laurels and not do enough? Did you contribute to the stream of life?

But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid refection? Do you tend to get into those?

Morbid reflection is doing this without God. “Oh I’m so terrible” Is a reverse form of pride. Selfishness and self-centeredness.
Worry is like sitting in a rocking chair expecting to go somewhere.
Remorse is wasting energy. If you have remorse, made an amends to God, the other person and to yourself. Then you can let go of all remorse. If you can’t do it to the other person, you do it with God, write a letter to the other person.

The disease wants you in morbid reflection, worry and remorse. So miserable that you’ll numb yourself with food, alcohol, drugs etc.

But that would diminish our usefulness to others. You’re in to self. “Naval gazing” — Oh I’m so terrible. It’s limiting God.

If you’re in morbid reflection, go to God, write about it, what you can do to make amends, write an action plan, share it. Sometimes we forget how big God is. Morbid reflection will steal your joy, peace and will probably bring you back to your addiction.

Your purpose in 12 step program to be useful to others. We don’t get sober to get a great job, man, look good etc. We get sober to lead other people to the path of hope that there is a way to recover. It will really show you what our purpose on earth is. It is to be useful to God, others and yourselves. It’s not to look at your own needs.

After doing the review, we ask for God’s forgiveness, if we need to, and inquire what corrective measures should be taken. Ex: amends

Recording For April 6, 2017

Page 86 Paragraph 1

When we retire at night, we constructively review our day. Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid? Do we owe an apology? Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once? Were we kind and loving toward all? What could we have done better? Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time? Or were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life? But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others. After making our review we ask God’s forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken.

Do we have to do it at night? Bill wrote in the morning. Only matters that you review yourself.

God, is there anything else you want me to know?

Review is like taking two fingers to check your pulse. It’s checking how you’re doing in recovery.

Review is not to beat yourself up or puff yourself up.

Do the following every day, for homework read one day to your buddy.

Have you hurt/harmed someone. Because if you have it will come up. Either your conscience or people will say or so something or cut you out of their lives.

Start by writing 3 at least 3 things you did right that day. Simple as “I get up on time” or “I exercised” or “made my husband fish for dinner”.

Recovery is seeing the positive in everything. Including myself. A recovered person is seeing the glass half full. Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake so everything can be positive if I just have the right attitude and bring it to God. Train yourself to see the positive in your day. Everything can be positive if I bring it to God.

Was I resentful? (Yes, turn paper over and do a resentment on it.
I am resentful at: my Mother.
Cause: She criticized me on my housework.
Effects my: self-esteem, personal relationships, personal security, pride, sexual relations, pocketbook.


a) Where was I selfish?
b) What did I want from this person
c) Why did I want it?

Where was I self-seeking? What behavior did I do to get what I wanted from that person? (ex: I wanted her to apologize)

Where was I dishonest?
Did I directly lie? Was I honest with x (ex: “yeah I know I have a long way to go in housework”, lie because the house was neat)
What was lie of omission? What should I have said to X to be completely honest? And say it in a nice way. (Well gee Mom, you’re being awfully critical.
What was the lie I tell myself? (ex: “ell if Mom thinks I am a bad housekeeper then I guess I really am”. That’s a lie, I am a good housekeeper, just not to her standards)

What am I afraid of? (I am afraid of her disapproval, I’m afraid that she’ll tell my sister, I’m afraid she’ll never want to come to my house again.) If there is a fear that you know you need to do fear inventory, then take it to a fear inventory.

If you have a resentment, you know what to do. You don’t have to take it to bed with you.

Where you selfish? You can be selfish and not be resentful.

Was I honest?
Clerk didn’t charge you
Are you being honest with people in your life? (Are you telling people it’s ok when it’s not ok. Are you dishonest with yourself? Are you eating food you know your body doesn’t need? Are you staying up later than you know your body can handle? Are you driving faster than the speed limit.) These things are not to condemn you, once you’ve gotten to the 11th step, it’s the small stuff that we need to look.

Was I afraid? And it fear is coming up, then do a fear inventory.

Do I owe an apology? Won’t know unless I ask the questions of “Was I resentful, self-seeking, fearful. Take it to God, take it to quiet time, make an action plan. Do I need to make an apology to someone.

Have I kept something to myself which should be discussed with someone at once? God, Sponsor, somebody who knows me through and through and can tell if I’m in denial, rationalizing etc. (do I need to talk to a loved one, doctor, etc.)

Recording for March 30, 2017

Week 274 March 30, 2017

Today’s reading:
BB top p.86 “It works… THROUGH end of top paragraph…”It would be easy to be vague about this matter. Yet, we believe we can make some definite and valuable suggestions.”

Q(1) Write out what Stephanie explained at the workshop’s beginning about the content of the Steps and then own it by writing it and defining it in your own words.

Q(2) “It works…” – What works?

Q(3) “…if we have the proper attitude and work at it.” (BB p. 86, top line, first full sentence)
(a) What’s the proper attitude?
(b) Do you feel 1-you don’t have time for ‘it’ or 2-you can’t live without it?

Q(4)(a) What does prayer mean to you?
What do you pray? (b) Do you like the prayers you pray?

Q(5)(a) What does meditation mean to you? Do you like it? (b)Do you like the way you do it? (c)Do you want to explore meditation?

Q(6) See how one week changes your attitude towards prayer and meditation.

Stephanie’s suggestion:
Don’t be vague.

Recording for March 23, 2017

Week 273, March 23, 2017
Step Eleven continued.

Today’s reading:
Big Book p. 85 begin para 3 – p. 86 end of first full sentence.
“Step Eleven suggests prayer and meditation. … Better men than we are using it constantly. It works, if we have the proper attitude and work at it.”

Q What does it mean to be “in fit spiritual condition”?
A These are suggestions (not original to Stephanie but from a workshop attended) given by Stephanie:

(1) Pray constantly.

Each moment try to have constant contact with God. How? Through conversation.
Conversation = PRAYER.
Prayer= talking to God. …TALKING

(2) Meditate daily = LISTENING, in Quiet Time.

(3) Read Twelve Step literature and spiritual literature Daily.

(They can be one and the same.)

(4) Give program away, most especially the Spiritual part.

(5) Talk daily to Twelve Step people and also an accountability person (the latter can be the same person you call your ‘sponsor’).

(6) Do service in your groups.

(7) Go to meetings and business meetings and share recovery, not the problem. Participate in a positive way.

Share about how God is the foundation of the Steps and be willing to be driven out of your Step One Fellowship because of speaking too much about God.

(8)Stay up to date with any resentments, fears, selfish motives, and dishonesty
( Step Ten).

(9) Be at peace with yourself and others by making amends when needed (Steps Eight and Nine).

(10) Stay rigorously honest

(100% honest about 100% of your life; no shaving the truth).
Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don’t say it mean.

(11) Surrender your will to God’s Will.

Look up: constantly

Q(1)(a) Write on each of the eleven suggestions above. What do they look like? (b) Do you want them? (c) Are they useful? (d)How are you doing them? Give examples.

Q(2)(a) Are you doing prayer and meditation constantly? (b)What does constantly mean to you – once a day/ twice a day/ when you get into trouble?

Q(3) “It works… .”
(a) What do you say ‘it’ means?
(b) Own the ‘it’ promise. Does it work for you?
(c) Has it worked for you in the past and not anymore? Or are you just new to working prayer and meditation?

Q(4) Put the word PROMISE above “It works”.
Are you willing to devote one-third of your day to prayer and meditation to get the promise that ‘it works’?

Q(5) Have the proper attitude of Gratitude.
(a) What about you – what does proper attitude mean to you?
(b) Do you have it?
(c) And if yes, are you doing the proper Action Plan around it and working at it?

Recording for March 16, 2017

Week 272, March 16, 2017

Beginning Step Eleven.

Today’s reading:
BB p.85 begin para 1 – p.86 middle line 2

“It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. … THROUGH … It
works, if we have the proper attitude and work at it.”

Q(1) Are you walking towards prideful or humble thinking?

Q(2)(a) What does it mean “It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action”?
(b)Have you done that?

Q(3)(a) What does it mean to rest on your laurels? (b) Have you? (c) Is there someone in your life or program that is resting on their laurels?
(d) How do you share this information that you got from this paragraph (BB p.85 para 1, first sentence)?

Q(4) Do you believe you are headed for trouble if you rest on your laurels?

Q(5) In the back of your mind, with the amount of sobriety you have, do you believe that you are really cured?

Q(6)(a) What does “daily reprieve” mean to you?
(b) What does “maintenance of our spiritual condition” look like in your life?

Q(7)Take the temperature – are you walking towards pride or towards humility?

Q(8)(a) How are you going to know God’s vision for His will/version of His will? (b)And how are you going to carry it in to all your activities?

Q(9)(a) How are you going to know how the God-of-your-understanding wants you to best serve Him? (b) And how are you going to serve Him?

Q(10) Write on the following and turn it over to somebody:
(a) Thank God for what you’ve been given
(b) Thank God for what God has taken from you
(c) Thank God for what God has left you

Q(11) “Better men than we are using it constantly.” (see BB p.85 beginning of last sentence)
(a) What does ‘constantly’ mean?
(b) What do you want to do – do you want to be praying constantly? (It’s up to you.)

Q(12) People who have constant contact
with God are happy, free, joyous and sober. Are you – happy, free, joyous and sober?

Q(13) What attitude are you bringing into
Quiet Time? Is it intimacy?

Recording for March 9, 2017

Week 271 – 9 March 2017 – 12Step Big Book All Addictions Workshop

Week Tradition Ten cont’d – to end.

Today’s reading:
AA 12&12 p.177 para 2 – p.179 end of chapter.

“Maybe this sounds as though the alcoholics in A.A. had suddenly gone peaceable, and become one great big happy family. Of course, this isn’t so at all. …THROUGH…Thus was laid the cornerstone for Tradition Ten: “Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the A.A. name ought never be drawn into public controversy.”

Q(1)(a) What does “AA has no opinion on outside” issues mean to you?
(b) Give an example of how you’ve broken that in your time in recovery.
(c) And give an example of how you’ve not said something in a meeting because you knew it would be an outside issue.

Q(2)Put your name where there is a blank:
________ has no opinion on other people’s issues. Hence, ________ has never been drawn/brought into public controversy.

Q(3)(a) Do you have an angry person in your life?
(b) In your Step One fellowship or Big Book groups? Have you gone to the business meeting and brought it up?
(c) What fear in you is coming up that you’re therefore not confronting this angry person?
(d) Do a fear inventory on it.

Look up: din, puny, rows

Q(4) How do you feel –
Do you see how important it really is to keep your focus on the space inside your own hula hoop ( e.g. your own political or religious leanings, your own marriage, the way you bring up your kids,
even the way you do your Big Book – for instance: Hyannis method or any other)?

Next week: Big Book – Step Eleven.

Recording for March 2, 2017

Week 270 March 2, 2017

Today’s readings:
(A) near end of STEP TEN in AA 12&12:
p.93 beginning of para 3 – p.94 end of line 2.

“When evening comes…many of us draw up a balance sheet for the day. …THROUGH…we know that the pains of drinking had to come before sobriety, and emotional turmoil before serenity.”

Q(1)(a) Did you try something this week?
Did you fail or succeed?
(b) If you succeeded, how did you feel?
(c) If you failed, how did you feel? And did you make an action plan towards succeeding?

Q(2) Take something you failed at and look at it. How did you react –
(a) Did you just blow it off that you didn’t succeed?
(b) Or did you go to God and make an action plan?

Q(3) Are you in agreement that the pains of your addiction had to come before sobriety?

Q(4) How did you do this week choosing serenity over emotional turmoil –
(a) Did you have an incident this week where you chose serenity over emotional turmoil? Or emotional turmoil over serenity?
(b) What did it look like?

(B) AA 12&12 begin Tradition Ten:
p.176 – p.177 end para 1.

“Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the A.A. name ought never be drawn into public controversy.”
…THROUGH…”Since recovery from alcoholism is life itself to us, it is imperative that we preserve in full strength our means of survival.”

Look up: provocation, controversy, imperative

Q(5)(a) Have you been bringing outside issues into your Step One meeting?
(b) What does what Stephanie described as ‘outside issues’ mean to you regarding bringing outside issues into
your Step One meetings?

Q(6) Underline AA12&12 p.177, first sentence of para 1:”Let us re-emphasize
that this reluctance to fight one another or anybody else is not counted as some… .”
(a) Write on it.
(b) Do a Tenth Step:
Are you feeling superior to others -because you’re sober,
because you’ve done the Big Book, or because of any other area where you may be a member of something?

Recording for February 23, 2017

Week 269 All Addictions Big Book Step Study

Today’s reading: End of Step Ten
AA 12&12 p.93 beginning of para 3 – p.95 end of chapter

“When evening comes…many of us draw up a balance sheet for the day. … THROUGH… Having so considered our day, … sleep in good conscience.”

Q(1)(a) Are you looking at your day during the day? (b) Are you doing an inventory at night?

Q(2)(a) Are you checking your behavior?
(b) When you find you have pride, jealousy, anger, or are fearful, are you doing some sort of inventory on it – resentment or fear inventory?
(c) And are you looking for the root
(d) Did you do one last night?
(e) What did you find when you last did one?
(f) Share it with your buddy or with a friend.

Q(3)(a) Do you see the value in spot-check reviews?
(b) Have you seen a change since you’ve been doing spot-check inventories – a change where you’re not putting your foot in your mouth, where you’re pausing
by doing the spot-check?

Q(4) When you find you’ve acted in a mistaken way, do you recognize what you’ve done and then visualize how you might have done it better?

Q(5) Is there any rationalizing going on in your life? Are you rationalizing anything (today)?
[Rationalization – “The temptation…to imagine that we had good motives and reasons” (to do something) “when we really didn’t.”] (p.94 para 2 last sentence)

Do you want to build good character?
Do you want to have good living?
Then Step Ten is the answer.

Recording for February 16, 2017

Week 268 All Addictions Big Book Step Study Workshop

Step Ten continued.
Today’s reading:
AA 12&12 p. 93 beginning of para 1-
p. 93 end of para 2.

“We can try to stop making unreasonable demands…” THROUGH “…Am I doing to others as I would have them do to me – today?”

Look up: courtesy, kindness, justice, love, keynotes

Q(1)How are you in stopping the pushing, pulling, prodding, dictating and
dominating (a)with the ones you love?
(b)with those who have asked you to help them? (c)everyone else–
co-workers, distant neighbors, communal church goers, exercise partners, the cashier, …?

Q(2)(a)How are you doing with showing courtesy, kindness and respect with those you love? (b)Have you changed your attitude? (c)And have you changed _____________________.
(d)Give an example from this past week or month where you did show kindness, courtesy and respect where you had shown none(previously). How did the other person respond?
(e)In the past week or month, has someone shown you courtesy, kindness and respect where they had shown none? How did that feel? And how did you react?

Q(3)(a)How are you doing with someone you dislike?
(b)Action assignment:
Ask God every day
how can you practice justice and courtesy (towards this person), perhaps going out of your way to understand and help them.

Q(4)(a)What spot-check inventory works for you- 1)T.H.I.N.K. or
2)was it necessary?was it kind?
or 3) where have I been selfish, self-centered, dishonest, afraid?
(Perhaps all of them together.)
(b) Are you willing to promptly admit it, to listen to that deep inner voice, that small voice inside that says you didn’t really treat another person with respect?

Q(5)Is there a person in your life that refuses to be in harmony with you? How does it make you feel? How can you put your intellect over your emotions and really treat them with courtesy, kindness, justice, and respect? (That respect is really a love.)

Q(6)Write on trying to live moving towards perfection and not resting on your laurels – by using an Action Plan.

Q(7)When in doubt of what to say and/or how to say it, keep saying:
‘Thy will, not mine, be done’.
Write on that.

Q(8)(a)Write this down:
The universal Golden Rule:
Am I treating others as I would have them treat me today?
(b)How are you doing with: “Am I doing to others as I would have them do to
me – today?”

Note: SEE Q(4)
Two more possible methods of doing a spot-check inventory Stephanie has alerted us to are:
4) ‘Thy will, not mine, be done’.
5) Asking ourselves ‘Am I treating others as I would have them treat me today?’

(Now we have 5 different ways to do a
spot-check, walking-around inventory.)

Recording for February 9, 2017

Week 267 February 9, 2017 All Addictions Big Book Step Study

Today’s reading:
AA 12&12 p. 92 beginning of para 1- p.92 end of 3rd line.

“Now that we’re in A.A. and sober…” through “…has to be abandoned, if only a little at a time.”

Look up: radical, indifferent

Take three sick people in your life today and pray for them during the day for everything you ever wanted. See if your heart doesn’t change around your feelings for them.

Q(1)(AA 12&12 p. 92 para 2, mid line 3:)
“…(then) we approach true tolerance and see what real love for our fellows actually means.”
This is the backbone of Steps Ten, Eleven, and Twelve.
(a) Write on that. Really dig in.

If you can radically change your attitude around them (sick people who are hurting you) and look at them with a bandage around their heads, you will achieve true joy and peace and serenity.
(b) Do you believe that?
(c) Are you willing to do that?
(d) Have you been willing to do that in the past? And have you seen a radical change in yourself as a result?

Q(2) Write in your own words:
(a) What does being indifferent to somebody look like and
(b) What is detachment without love?

Q(3) See AA 12 & 12 p.92 paragraph 3:
“Such a radical change in our outlook will take time…”
through to its end atop p. 93:
“The idea that we can be possessively loving of a few, …ignore the many, and…continue to fear or hate anybody, has to be abandoned, if only a little at a time.”

(a) How do you feel about this paragraph? Write on it.
(b) What does it mean to you?

Q(4) How are you doing in your life today about detaching from the people-in-your-life-today, with love?

Q(5) Check yourself out around those people who are in your life now. Are you detaching with love or are you being indifferent or disrespectful?